THE HARDEST PEOPLE TO LOVE ARE THE ONES WHO NEED LOVE THE MOST It is amazing that people who need to be loved are so difficult to love. The lack of love in a person’s life determines how much love they can give. People who have never learned to trust cannot be trusted, so if you give someone love who don’t know love, or trust someone who has never trusted, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. So where do we draw the line? And how much help is enough? Well, let me assure you that it is no easy task, especially if you are trying to help a relative that is refusing your help The first time I had to tackle with loving someone who didn’t know love was my adult son! When my son was twenty-four, I realized that he was going nowhere fast. He was lazy and unwilling to cooperate. As long as I paid the bills and brought groceries, I was mom, but when I started requesting help from my son I became his enemy. He forgot about all the times I supported him, though my body was sick, I worked diligently that my son could go about life without having to struggle as I struggled. Well I created a monster. My son waited for me to bring food home, and give him twenty dollars for the weekend that was all he wanted out of life. I must have prayed heaven down trying to get my son to see it my way, but the more I loved him; the harder he turned towards me. A year before I put my son out, I started asking everyone I knew what to do. Everyone I asked told me I could not put my own son out, especially Christians are against eviction of your own child. So I suffered silently not wanting people to know how bad my relation was with my son. After months of suffering I finally asked the Holy Spirit to guide me to the right decision, I was surprised to hear His answer. A man that does not work, should not eat. And Jesus taught His disciples not to give their pearls to pigs. I was appalled at the though of calling my son a pig, but when I looked at the way he treated me I knew the only thing he was missing was the onk! My son never dreamed I would put him out, and I shall never forget how I fought within to hold to my convictions. It was winter in Germany, when I decided to allow my son to swim or drown, which made the decision more difficult. Let me also say that all the people that were advising me not to evict my son was not willing to take him in. Two months after my son’s eviction I saw him walking along the main road, about two miles from my shop. He walked slow cause everything he owned was on his back, and it was bitterly cold. I fought within, with tears streaming down, not to stop and offer him a ride. It hurt so much to think of how low my son had allowed himself to fall. I thought of all the pain I had since his birth, and I knew it was because my son had no foundation that he was wandering the streets. I wanted to reach out and cradle him, but my son was too bitter to receive love. So for five or six months my son lived between two friends apartment, because he refused to keep a job. One day I received a phone call from my son because he needed sixty dollars to get his passport updated so he could return to America. Somehow I felt honored that my son asked me for help. Maybe he would see just how much I loved him, if I assisted him, again. Well again my son used me to get everything he could out of me, and then he was gone; back to America where he had familiar grounds. I remembered thinking to myself how hard my son’s face looked, and how cold he acted. He was angry with me for not accepting his father, though I had always told him how abusive and whorrish his father was. I never wanted my son to return to America, but I was his enemy, not his friend, so I could not convince him to stay in Germany and get a job. My son returned to America to be a burden on anyone who would allow him. This was when I accepted Jesus saying of not giving your pearls to pigs because they would turnaround and trample on them. I realized that as long as I allowed my son to be near he would hurt, until he decided to give his heart to God. Several times after I put my son out I allowed him to use me, in hopes that he would see how much I loved him, and maybe give a bit of love to me. What I have learned from my son and two brothers is that people who do not know love cannot accept love, neither can they give love. This is why the Bible tells us not to be unevenly yoked. Another tells us that light and darkness cannot stay in the same place. I will attempt to help all those needing help, but I have learned not to try to help those who refuses help. When you live according to the word, you will know whom to help and whom to avoid. It is ungodly to be depressed over someone who refuses your help, get up and brush your shoes off and leave them to themselves. Thank God I got this from the Bible.