FACING AGEING WITH YOUR PARTNER You know it never occurred to be that one day I would have to face my breasts sitting just above my navel. O.K. it´s not that bad, but there are more sags then muscles. I know I need more exercises, and really I do some sort of exercise every day. But, times seem to hit me in a different place as soon as I patch up one. For example, I wear braids or a head full of weave, but underneath my hair pieces is thinning temples and balding crown. I tremble at the thought of my husband seeing me without hair. My husband is ten years younger, so maybe that is why it seems so bad. I hate when my husband watch me do my hair. I feel so helpless. I never talked about my deep fear of losing my sweet husband because of balding. So as long as my husband saw me glamorous, I was fine. Then one night I braided my weave so the huge mange of hair wouldn´t disturb my sleep. The braids pulled the hair away from my face, and I revealed my balding temples. My husband, sitting next to me on the couch, looked at me and remarked how funny I looked. I was so hurt. "I Don´t care how you feel about me. Leave me alone if you don´t mind. I am tired of trying to look good enough for you!" I shouted and began to curse my husband. He opened a box of worms that started me mourning, out of fear and anger. I forgot about the good times we had the whole week. I forgot about how much he loved me and how he brought me a new pair of fuzzy gorilla shoes, yesterday. I tried not to be hurt, and keep my eyes on Christ, but I was still hurt. My husband had dug up my deepest fears. This was the reason I never wanted to grow old with someone. I didn´t want my loved one to see me go through changes. There was no reason to doubt my husband´s commitment to me, he had shown nothing but love, for ten years. Knowing all this I still went to bed with a heavy feeling of rejection. And blame ing God for allowing my body to age. Why couldn´t I stay looking young? The only question in my head. For sure I got very little sleep. My husband had no idea why I was hurting so bad, he tried to comfort me and held me in his arms until he fell asleep. As soon as he started snoring I started crying. How could he sleep, while I lay next to him with my heart breaking? I had so many bad feelings within me that I had never discussed with my husband. How could he know what I was feeling? The next morning my husband got up early to go to work I was still hurting When he took me in his arms to say goodbye I was cold as ice. Immediately my husband asked why was I still upset. I started crying from somewhere so deep I couldn´t stop. "Please honey, tell me what is really hurting you? Why are you crying so much? Forgive me if I said something to hurt you. I apologize." I continued crying and said have a good day through tears. My husband could no longer stay and pamper me Around ten o´clock I called my husband and told him how he had hurt me. He could not believe I was hurt over him saying I looked funny. Then I told him why I was hurt and how I had always been afraid of him leaving me. He started laughing and said he couldn´t believe I was so insecure about him leaving me. But what really helped was he told me he would never leave me no matter how bald and old I got. He told me his love was much deeper than skin and that nothing could make him leave me. Today I would like to say to all my sisters and brothers facing the situation that you really don´t have a problem. Sit down and talk to your partner about your fears. Share with each other how you really feel about aging together. You will find that aging is not bad if you have someone that truly loves you.